Go for a swim, it’s 82 degrees.
I can’t.
I need to get to the hospital.
These words came from a client’s father last night—a man I’ve only met briefly over the years. And yet, here I am, spending the week in their family home, holding space as the matriarch prepares to transition to the other side of the veil.
When he made the offer, I responded, I appreciate that. My first priority is being of service to your family in this moment.
(What I didn’t add? …while also caring for my other clients, my family, and myself.)
But this morning, I turned inward and asked:
Valentyne, what do you need to stay in overflow as you navigate this incredible energetic constellation and family transition?
Immediately, I flashed back to conversations from the day before:
A mother supporting her anxious son. A former client navigating a legal battle.
A friend seeking advice on a difficult conversation.
And what was the essence of my guidance to all of them?
Put your nervous system first.
Ground.
Clear.
Rest.
Hydrate.
Do what works for you.
Then, return to the challenge from a place of strength, clarity, and regulation.
Because otherwise? We react. We grasp for the quick fix. We put out the fire—only to realize, in hindsight, we may have poured gasoline on it.
I had my own moment of this last night. An issue popped up with a financial contract, and I called M to brainstorm solutions. We came up with good ideas, but I looked at him on the screen and said, We don’t have the right thing yet. We don’t have all the information. And I need to sleep.
We spent a few minutes connecting, then M worked his magic at the piano and I melted into a deep, restful sleep.
This morning? Within minutes of waking, the perfect solution came to me.
Why?
Because I was rested.
I was clear.
I was back in (over)flow.
This may not be my most dazzling piece of writing. But it may be one of the most important things to remember:
Nervous system first, then action.
Get in alignment, then move.
Love + Magic,
Amber
PS: Want to master nervous system regulation in real time? Click here to get on the first-to-know list about my upcoming course.