Chess Moves

by | Jan 31, 2025

Last night, M turned to me and said, That was the best chess game ever. Thank you.

Tell me more, I asked, intrigued.

He smiled. It was intelligent, fluid, fun, and I feel even more connected to you.

That moment felt significant. You see, I’d recently expressed that chess wasn’t feeling fun anymore, it had started to feel intense. Yes, I know, chess is supposed to be serious, but for me, it’s about connection and flow, the outcome is irrelevant.

M is a more experienced player, and wins consistently, regardless of his opponent. When I hesitated to play with him last year, he encouraged me by saying, Chess is a game of flow and connection, two things that you excel at.
He speaks my language.

Recently, when he took long pauses between moves, deeply strategizing, I found myself checking out. The game lost its spark, and I wasn’t excited when he asked to play again. So, I was honest about it, because I don’t like clutter, not in my mind or in my relationships.

When I shared this, M looked surprised. I’m just trying to give you the very best game possible, he admitted.
I don’t care about winning, I told him. What matters to me is connection and flow.

Maybe you’d think that’s easy to say because M usually wins, but not always. The truth is, winning isn’t what I’m after. Presence is.

So last night, when he asked me to play, my Yes was clear and enthusiastic. In fact, we played twice and had fun.

At the end of the night, M thanked me, not just for the game, but for reminding him of what I truly value.

His intelligence was a given. His presence? That’s what I wanted most.

Love + Magic,

Amber